Every other quit app claps when you open it. Streaks. Badges. A little tree that grows.
You've tried them. You're still smoking. This one works the other way.
NO SYMPATHY
"Good news — they finance. You've already put $2,340 down."
Tried everything else? Good.
Patient History — Prior Attempts Form 1970-A
The patch$289
The gum$164
Vaping ("just to quit")$412
Cold turkey, every New Year's×6
The hypnosis download$60
The app with the little tree$9.99/mo
Total spent quittingstill smoking
IRRELEVANT
This app doesn't care what you tried, how many times you tried, or how much you
spent on quit products. There's no case history held against you here. The buddy
doesn't read the file — he reads you, starting today.
Because here's the thing about having tried everything: it means you're actually ready.
And when you're actually ready, you don't need another program, another plan, another tree.
You may just need a nudge — somebody putting the possible outcomes in front of you,
in full color, until one of them lands. That's the whole job. Exhibits below.
You set your number and your date. It builds the taper — hard cuts early, when you've still got the fight in you.
It schedules your smokes and invites you to each one. Skip one, hit "I'M GOOD", and the resist counter climbs. That number becomes the story you tell.
Smoke early? It knows. Smoke extra? It knows that too, and it has opinions.
Go past your number and open the app — it meets you at the door with a picture you'd rather not see and a line you deserve.
No streaks to protect. No badges. No cheering. No little tree.
No subscription. No "premium insights." No selling your data to anybody.
"Pickled. Labeled. Yours are free-range, for now."
"Your retirement plan called. This is it."
"Even he's disgusted, and he licks his own ass."
⚠ Official Notice to Vapers ⚠
Trying to quit vaping? Grow up. We can't help you.
This establishment serves cigarette smokers — people who started back
when you could smoke in a Denny's. When you're ready to admit the raspberry cloud
was a lateral move, not a quit… the door's over there.
Why I built it
Thirty years of heavy drinking put me in a hospital bed. I got out, and in December 2023 I quit —
alone, on the road, living out of an RV, working a job that keeps me driving 30,000 miles a year.
No coach. No app with a tree in it. Coming up on three years sober now.
The cigarettes were supposed to be next. I tried what you've tried — the patches, the gum,
the apps that congratulate you for opening them. None of it stuck, because none of it talked to me
like the truth talks. What finally moved me was the opposite of encouragement: the math of what
it costs, the picture of where it ends, and somebody willing to say it to my face.
So I built the somebody. This app is the friend who's got dirt on you — the one who says
"really, bro?" when you light number sixteen. It's not medical advice.
It's not a program from a lab. It's what's working on me, one rude notification at a time,
and I figured I'm not the only one who needed it said this way.
— Lyle, founder & test subject #1
The going rate for quitting
Current Market Pricing — Verified Aug 2026
Hypnosis app subscription$9.99/WEEK
The gamified one, lifetime$249.99
The community one, PRO$39.99
Quit-smoking seminar, one seat$495
Hypnotherapist package$300–1,500
This app, forever$5. ONCE.
FREE
Right now, while it's in early access, it costs nothing.
When the Play Store version lands it becomes $5 — one time. Not a month.
Not a "free trial" with your card number held hostage. About half a pack,
depending on how your state robs you.
Never a subscription. Quitting is the one product you should need less of.
Works on any phone, right in the browser. Install it from the page — no store needed yet.
This pamphlet is not sympathetic. Side effects of quitting include: money, breathing.
Not medical advice — just what's working for one stubborn case. 17+ for language.
Your data is yours; delete your account any time and it's gone for real.
